


To Confess

by nickelkeep



Series: Nickel's Story Time Series [17]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angel Sex, Angst and Feels, Angst and Porn, Angst with a Happy Ending, Break Up, Breaking Up & Making Up, Canon Compliant, Case Fic, Castiel/Dean Winchester First Kiss, Castiel/Dean Winchester First Time Having Sex, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Gay Sex, Idiots in Love, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, It's For a Case, John Winchester's A+ Parenting, M/M, Making Love, Minor Original Character(s), Pray for Sam, Sam Winchester Ships Castiel/Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester is So Done, Season/Series 11, idiots to lovers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-29
Updated: 2019-10-29
Packaged: 2021-01-06 05:56:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,491
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21221693
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nickelkeep/pseuds/nickelkeep
Summary: "So get this... We've got couples missing at a couples retreat the next state over.""Which lovely lady you going with?" Dean uncrossed his arms and smacked Cas' hand away from the tablet so he could scroll through the article."Can't find one. Charlie's still not back. Jody's taking Donna on a hunt."Cas looked up. "Well, there was a lesbian couple that went missing. You can choose a male partner.""I was hoping you'd say that, Cas." Sam shot a look at Dean before smiling at Cas. "Will you do me the honor of being my fake husband for a case?""Excuse me?" Dean shot a look at Sam."Well, I'm not asking you, Dean." Sam shook his head. "That's... Yeah, no."Dean crossed his arms over his chest again. "Why are you and Cas going? Cas is my best friend. He and I can pull it off better than you two can."





	To Confess

**Author's Note:**

  * For [idaeriksson](https://archiveofourown.org/users/idaeriksson/gifts), [Darmys](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Darmys/gifts).

> Storytime 17! We're legit doing this!
> 
> So this is a duel prompt kinda thing. My tumblr's kinda wonky, so I don't always get to see all my asks. But the lovely Darmys had asked for a Destiel Fake Relationship/Getting Back Together ficlet a while back. What reminded me of that, was that I was looking at my prompt list and nothing struck my fancy, and when I asked in PB, the lovely Ida said, write a case-fic involving Dean and Cas in a fake relationship.
> 
> DO YOU GUYS REALIZE I HADN'T DONE THAT YET!?
> 
> I talk about my love of writing canonverse and casefic, and I hadn't written that damn trope yet. I FLIPPED IT BEFORE I WROTE IT!
> 
> So here it is!
> 
> xxx
> 
> You can find me on [Tumblr](https://nickelkeep.tumblr.com/) and [Twitter](https://twitter.com/nickelwrites).

Sam entered into the War Room, finding Cas and Dean squabbling like the old married couple he had always pictured them to be. Dean was clearly losing whatever argument they were having this time around, his arms crossed across his chest, and his eyes stuck in a perpetual eye roll.

"Dean, it doesn't make sense."

"Cas, it's science fiction. Fiction doesn't have to make sense." Dean looked to Sam for support. "Please explain to Cas why Han Solo using Parsecs as a measurement of time actually makes sense."

Sam opened his mouth and shook his head. "I'm not touching that with a ten-foot pole." He turned his tablet around and laid it on the table in front of Dean and Cas. "So get this... We've got couples missing at a couples retreat the next state over."

"Which lovely lady you going with?" Dean uncrossed his arms and smacked Cas' hand away from the tablet so he could scroll through the article.

"Can't find one. Charlie's still not back. Jody's taking Donna on a hunt."

Cas looked up. "Well, there was a lesbian couple that went missing. You can choose a male partner."

"I was hoping you'd say that, Cas." Sam shot a look at Dean before smiling at Cas. "Will you do me the honor of being my fake husband for a case?"

"Excuse me?" Dean shot a look at Sam.

"Well, I'm not asking you, Dean." Sam shook his head. "That's... Yeah, no."

Dean crossed his arms over his chest again. "Why are you and Cas going? Cas is my best friend. He and I can pull it off better than you two can."

"You realize that you're going to have to act like you love Cas, right? You might have to kiss him. Act like he doesn't have cooties."

"Sam, Dean. I'm standing right here." Cas looked back and forth between the two brothers. He picked up the tablet from the table. "Actually, it might work better if it is Dean and I." Cas turned the tablet around. "The retreat is aimed at couples who are having issues within their relationship. Dean and I can easily act that out."

"Done." Dean smiled smugly at Sam.

Sam held his hands up in defense. "Sorry, Dean didn't realize you wanted an excuse to play house with your best friend."

Dean blushed and rushed towards his room, muttering something under his breath about needing to pack. Cas cocked his head in confusion, watching Dean leave. He turned back and looked at Sam. "What was that about?"

"I have no idea, Cas." Sam smiled smugly. "None, whatsoever." He held his hand out for the tablet. "Let's get you and Dean set up for a vacation, shall we?"

xxx

The drive was relatively smooth. Dean and Cas pulled into the campground, finding the main office to check-in without too much difficulty. Before they entered the building, Cas stopped Dean. "Should we hold hands or something?"

Dean ran his hand down his face, nodding before taking Cas' hand into his. "Sorry if it's sweaty. Been driving this whole time."

"It's okay, Dean." Cas lightly squeezed Dean's hand, sending a strange sensation through to Dean's heart and causing it to speed up.

"Let's do this." Dean pulled open the door and let Cas walk in first, their hands still together. They walked up to a counter where a bored-looking teenager was busy texting on their phone. The teenager shot them a look and held up a finger, spending a few additional moments focusing on their phone before setting it down.

"Welcome to Camp Geode River. Can I get the name your reservation is under?" The teenager's monotone made Dean scoff.

"The Pages? Dean and Castiel?" Cas offered.

The teen clicked away at the keyboard before nodding. "Yup. Sec." They turned around and grabbed a folder, a pair of keys, and a bag. "There's a map in the folder, but you're in cabin ten. Pretty easy to find, just straight down the road, all the way at the end, no turns. There's a personal itinerary for you two in there, plus a group one if you want to socialize." The teen rolled their eyes. "The bag is a welcome gift from management." The teen forced a smile. "Have a great time at Camp Geode River."

"Thanks." Dean rolled his eyes and grabbed the bag while Cas took the folder. The pair headed back out to the Impala and took the brief drive back down to their assigned cabin. Dean parked the car and looked at the log cabin and nodded in appreciation. "Doesn't look too shabby."

"I believe if it were shabby, it would be uninhabitable, Dean."

Dean opened his mouth to respond but decided against it. Instead, he chose to get out of the car and grab his duffel bag out of the trunk. Cas took his key and headed up to the door, opening it and heading inside. Dean followed close behind and found himself pleasantly surprised by the interior.

"Well, then. This may not be so bad, after all." Dean's eyes fell on the bed. "Except for that. Is that the only one?"

"It is a couple's retreat, Dean. They expect couples to share the same bed."

"Uh." Dean rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. "Well, you can have the bed. I've slept on plenty of couches."

Cas' eyebrow went up. "Dean, you know I don't require sleep. You can take the bed."

"Yeah, I know you don't need it, but it looked like something you were starting to enjoy. Don't think I haven't seen you catnapping around the bunker." Dean crossed over to the bed and dropped the duffel on it.

"I can go without sleep for this hunt, although I appreciate the offer, Dean." Cas opened the folder and started looking at its contents.

"So what's on the docket for tonight?" Dean moved next to the bag and fell back on the bed. "Oh dude, you're going to regret giving up the option to sleep on the bed. This memory foam is almost as good as mine."

"I'm fairly certain I'll be okay." Cas looked up for a moment and smiled at Dean. "Thank you, though."

Dean blushed, and let his head fall back on the pillow. "So, what's the fancy stuff in the fancy folder say?"

"Well, there's a meet and greet tonight for the people who came in today. So perhaps we should go to that."

"Are members of the staff going to be there?" Dean questioned.

"Looks like it."

"Cool. When is it?" Dean pushed himself up on his elbows as he felt Cas sit on the edge of the bed.

Cas pulled out his phone. "Starts in about an hour. Need to grab a shower?"

"Hell yeah."Dean sat up and crossed to the shower. "I hope the dress code is casual. I only brought the FBI badge. I didn't even bring a monkey suit."

"I'm fairly certain your lumberjack attire will fit in here perfectly." Cas quipped, earning a genuine laugh from Dean.

"And yet you make fun of it all the time. Want to borrow one?"

Cas started to take off his trench coat and suit jacket. "I might as well." He began untying his tie, causing Dean to swallow hard.

"Well, you know the saying, 'When in Rome...'" Dean tried to look anywhere else, but his eyes found themselves drawn to Cas' hands.

"Did you know that saying is actually about ways to worship at Church?" Cas finished removing his tie and draped it with his jackets.

Dean's eyes snapped back up to Cas'. "I had no clue, but I'm sure you could tell me all about it."

"I doubt you're actually interested in that history," Cas smirked and unbuttoned his shirt. "Do you have a spare tee shirt as well?"

"Yep." Dean turned away from his best friend and focused on the word friend. He opened the duffel and pulled out a light grey tee and a flannel that was in shades of blue. He turned back around to a shirtless Cas, hoping that the angel didn't notice Dean's eyes tracing down his chest and abs before resting on his tattoo. "Huh. Forgot about that." Dean said aloud.

Cas looked up at Dean and tilted his head before looking down at his own torso. "Oh."

"Sorry, didn't mean to..." Dean stumbled over his words before shoving the shirts at Cas. "Throw those on, and we can explore the campground before the Meet and Greet thing. I'll wait for you outside." Dean rushed out of the cabin, his mind going in a hundred different directions.

Cas followed out of the cabin a few minutes later. Dean fought to keep himself from staring at his best friend and focused on a spot on the ground. 

"Dean? Are you ok?"

Dean looked up to find Cas standing in front of him. "Yeah, just tired from all the driving. I'll be ok after some sleep tonight."

"Okay." Cas didn't bother hiding the fact he didn't believe Dean. He offered his hand. "For appearances?"

"Right, for appearances." Dean took Cas' hand and allowed himself to be pulled back up the road. "Where to, Casanova?"

Cas looked over his shoulder and shot his own version of a bitchface at Dean. "We'll start heading towards the Mess Hall, as that's where the Meet and Greet is."

"Think they'll have pie?" Dean asked, trying to distract himself as he caught up and walked side by side with Cas.

"Is pie camping food?"

"Pie is an everywhere food, Cas." Dean winked before feeling a flush to his cheeks. "So, what's our story?"

"We've been together for 7 years. We're having issues."

Dean nodded in agreement. "Keeping it simple. Makes sense. Are we having issues, though?"

"Us, as in for the case? or Us, as in back at the bunker?" Cas stopped and looked at Dean. "You tell me."

"Nope." Dean shook his head. "My head hasn't been clearer."

Cas simply nodded and continued walking. They made their way to the mess hall, both of them having left the map back in their cabin, and found that the Meet and Greet was already underway. Several couples had come in that day and were already making the rounds. They were introducing themselves to the staff and each other.

Dean and Cas looked at each other before shrugging and moving in to follow suit.

After spending time talking to staff, Dean and Cas found a bench away from the rest of the group to sit down on. "Explain to me how we do this all the time?" Dean looked at Cas and huffed.

"Isn't it usually Sam who does the so-called nerd work?" Cas inquired. "You make Sam do the interviews, you make him research. You prefer doing the grunt work." Cas wrapped his arm around Dean's shoulder.

Dean's eyes went wide. "Uh, Cas?"

"We have to be a couple, Dean." Cas leaned in closer and reminded. "If we're not playing the part, it can look suspicious."

"Right. Play the part." Dean nodded in confirmation.

"Are you sure you're ok?" Cas pulled his arm back and tilted his head.

Dean opened his mouth to speak when a voice called out from the primary grouping of people.

"Alright, ladies and gents!" A staff member had stood up on a bench to get everyone's attention. "Time to head over to pit! We've had a pig going all day, and for those who are kosher or vegan, we have some other options available for you!"

"You heard the lady, Cas. There might even be pie." Dean wiggled his shoulders and stood up, offering his hand down to the angel.

Cas muttered something under his breath, causing Dean to lean down and ask him to repeat himself. "Nothing, Dean. Let's go see if they have your pie." Cas took Dean's hand and stood up, walking side-by-side with the hunter as they headed a few hundred yards over to a particular cooking area.

The pair grabbed food and sat down at a table that was mostly staff, trying to catch all the gossip they could about the missing couples, which came with false reassurances that they were safe. As they enjoyed their dinner, Dean had Cas keep an eye on the other pairs. When the first couple decided to call it quits, Dean also declared it bedtime for him and Cas, earning himself a grumpy eye roll.

Once back in their cabin, Dean pulled out his laptop and handed Cas a tablet. "Alright, so what have we learned?"

"It's four couples that have gone missing, and it was after their therapy sessions." Cas sat on the sofa and slouched down. "You know we're not going to be able to get anything out of the therapists. They're bound by patient-doctor confidentiality."

"Think they keep notes?" Dean pulled out his phone and called Sam, putting on him on speakerphone.

"You guys kill each other yet?" Sam asked as soon as he answered the phone.

"Seriously, Sam?"

"Hello, Sam." Cas sat up and leaned towards the phone. "We are both still alive."

"Oh good, I was betting that you would have smote him by now." Sam laughed, and the guys could hear some paper being rustled on the other end of the line. "So, what's up?"

Dean ran his fingers through his hair. "Hoping for another set of eyes on this. And you're the best nerd we know."

"There have been four couples reported missing, Sam." Cas continued. "All four were last seen at a therapy session."

Sam laughed out loud. "No wonder you need my help. You're not getting Dean within 100 feet of that building."

"Excuse me? What's that supposed to mean?"

Sam continued laughing as Cas tried to diffuse the situation. "I believe what Sam is getting at is that you don't like talking about your problems and issues. You would be averse to going near the building.”

"Seriously, Sam?" Dean rolled his eyes and let disdain creep into his voice. "Or do you forget the times we checked into mental hospitals, and I was forced to talk about my feelings?"

"I know, I'm sorry." Sam let out a breath. "Sorry. Okay, seriously, how can I help?"

Cas took over the conversation with Sam while Dean walked off to the bathroom. This case was turning into a disaster. Dean started to believe that it would have been better if he just kept his mouth shut and let Sam come with Cas.

Cas wouldn't be annoyed with Sam right now. If anything, Cas and Sam would be acting like a perfect couple. Dean paused. Did Sam even like guys? Not that it would bother Dean, but he can't ever remember Sam looking at another guy like that. Did Sam look at Cas like that?

Did Sam want Cas the way that Dean wanted Cas?

Dean turned the water on in the bathroom and splashed it on his face. He did not want Cas like that, he couldn't want Cas like that. Dean pressed the heels of his palms against his temples and leaned his elbows against the sink. He was completely hopeless.

Dean took a deep breath and looked in the mirror again. He let the breath out slowly and headed back out to the main room. Cas and Sam were still talking, and Cas had a smile on his face. Dean's heart sunk.

"That makes sense, Sam." Cas looked up at Dean and nodded. "Dean's back in the room."

"Ok, so based on what Cas has told me, I think you two need to look into Fairy Lore."

"More Fairies?" Dean groaned. "No Oberon jokes, Sammy."

"Well," Sam laughed. "Funny you should mention that. 'Cause you can see them."

Dean muttered some choice curse words under his breath and collapsed on the foot of the bed. 

"Why don't you get some rest, Sam. I'm going to shoo Dean off to bed here in a moment as well. I'll keep researching." Cas looked at Dean with a small smile on his face.

"I have a few more things to do yet, but I will head to bed soon, I promise." There was a brief moment of silence. "Have a good night, you two."

"Night, Sammy." Dean replied as Cas responded with: "Goodnight, Sam."

The call disconnected, and Dean frowned at Cas. "You really going to send me to bed?"

"You told me you were tired earlier, Dean." Cas stood up and crossed over to the bed, grabbing the duffel bag and putting it on the floor. "You should get some sleep."

"You're not going to sleep?" Dean frowned. "What about you getting rest?"

"I don't need to. We already had this conversation."

Dean looked back at the bed then looked at Cas. "You know, it is a king-size. So if you get tired?"

"I hear you, Dean." Cas stepped in between Dean's legs and ran his fingers through Dean's hair before gently cupping his cheek. "Go lay down. Please?"

Dean nodded and crawled up to the top of the bed before sliding under the blankets. He watched Cas turn off the lights, except for a lamp next to the sofa he'd been sitting on. Dean's heart was beating a mile a minute, and nothing he could do could make it stop. "Goodnight, Cas."

"Goodnight, Dean."

xxx

The next morning, Dean woke up to the scent of freshly brewed coffee, but a cold bedside. His heart sank upon realizing that Cas never joined him. Dean sat up and looked over at the kitchen area and saw Cas drinking what was most likely a cup of tea.

"Good morning, Dean." Cas looked up from the paper in front of him. "The coffee should be done by now if you want a cup."

Dean got out of the bed and walked towards Cas and the kitchenette. "You get any rest?"

"I didn't need it, Dean." Cas offered a small smile. "I appreciate your concern, though."

"Just watching out for my best friend. You know." Dean mentally kicked himself and headed to the coffee pot. He grabbed himself a mug and filled it with fresh coffee.

"I know."

Dean leaned back against the counter and took a sip. "So, figure anything out last night?"

"Yes, actually. And already texted Sam too." Cas reached across the table, grabbing the tablet he worked on, before turning around to look at Dean. "Pixies."

"Shit. It really is fairies?" Dean rubbed his hand over his mouth and jaw in frustration. "No offense, but I was hoping that was a dead end."

"I'm sure. I remember that your last run-in with fairies was not particularly something you want to remember." Cas smirked.

"I microwaved one to death. That's not an image you get out of your head." Dean shuddered. "So, what do we need to do?"

"It's a fairy, Dean. How do you deal with fairies?"

Dean thought for a moment. "They love cream. They have to count spilled sugar or salt." Dean snapped his fingers. "They hate iron." 

"Looks like we know what we need to do then." Cas took a sip of his tea. "You care for some breakfast?"

As Cas and Dean walked to the Mess Hall for breakfast, Dean made it his personal mission to keep some distance between himself and Cas. He was confusing himself. Dean knew he shouldn't be having these feelings for Cas, but he also finding fewer and fewer reasons why he shouldn't have them.

"Good morning!" A way-too-happy voice called. "Heading to breakfast?"

Dean looked at Cas, who pointed. Another couple were coming to intercept them. "I believe their names are Marge and Ed." He whispered.

"And I don't really care," Dean responded back to Cas before turning to the couple. "Yep. A quiet, private breakfast."

"Good luck with that!" The guy scoffed. "There's no privacy in there."

"Ed, be nice." The woman smiled at Dean and Cas. "Just figured we could all walk over together. We're all in the same boat for the next couple of days."

Ed grumbled something under his breath before looking at the guys. "Run away, or Marge is going to try and Dr. Phil you two."

"Ed!" Marge playfully clutched at non-existent pearls. "I do love my daytime shows, but I wouldn't pretend to act like an expert on anyone's marriage."

"You're not even an expert on our own," Ed responded. 

"I would be if you talked to me!"

Dean and Cas looked at each other exasperatedly.

"So, boys." Marge turned away from her husband. "How long have you been together?"

Cas cleared his throat. "Seven years."

"Awww, I thought seven was supposed to be lucky! Why are you two here?" Marge pouted at them.

Dean and Cas looked at each other, surprised that the stranger was so blunt in her questioning.

"Christ, Marge. It's not enough that your marriage sucks, you need peep in on others?"

"I'm just worried about them. These two are such a good looking couple, but they're not even acting like a couple!"

Dean winced. He knew he should have taken Cas' hand or anything. He could be screwing up the entire case.

"Maybe they're not gay!" Ed joked. "Maybe they only got married for the tax breaks."

"Seriously, Dude?" Dean stopped. "I don't know who you two think you are–"

"Dean–" Cas tried to interrupt Dean, but instead found himself pulled into Dean's arms and their lips pressed together in a searing kiss. Dean melted into Cas, his arms wrapped around the angel's neck, and Cas' hands resting on his hips. 

Dean remembered the feeling of the sparks flying when he met Cas for the first time all those years ago. This was that feeling multiplied by a number too high for him to comprehend. He was gone, his heart having beat its way out of his chest.

A cough pulled them out of their reverie, Ed bright red while Marge stared at them and fanned herself.

"You know Eddie, if you still kissed me like that, we wouldn't be here."

Dean blushed his own bright shade of pink. He grabbed Cas by the hand and dragged him into the Mess Hall, leaving the other couple in the dust.

Once they settled down at a table, Dean flushed again. "Cas, I'm sorry. I didn't know what to do, and I–"

"Dean." Cas rested his hand on top of Dean's. "It's okay. I understand. They could have blown our cover. It was an effective way to make them quiet."

Dean slouched in his seat. "Right. To keep our cover." He picked up a piece of bacon and bit it. "So, what's the plan for today?"

"We have a therapy session in about 30 minutes." Cas sipped at the coffee he had grabbed while putting some additional bacon on Dean's tray. "Perhaps if we're lucky, we'll be abducted."

"Cas, we don't know why the others were abducted, only that it was after their therapy session." Dean swallowed the bacon and took a drink of his own coffee. 

"Well, we still need to have a therapy session in order to try and be abducted."

Dean rolled his eyes. "Great. Feelings."

"Make them up for all I care, Dean." Cas snapped. "We need to stop this, and you're literally one of the only hunters who can see fairies."

"You think Sam knew?" Dean tilted his head. "There's no way he knew."

"Doubtful. When we were talking, Sam was fighting against that idea." Cas ate a piece of bacon he had kept on his tray, causing Dean to raise an eyebrow. "What? I need to appear human."

After breakfast, Cas and Dean walked over to the building where the therapists had set up their offices. They were meeting with Dr. Quinn, who was another too-perky-for-mornings person that irritated Dean.

They settled down on her sofa, Cas on one side and Dean on the other.

"You two are making this extremely stereotypical. You don't have to sit a million miles apart. I heard about your little makeout session this morning." Dr. Quinn winked at them.

"We're not normally like that," Cas replied. "Dean doesn't like– What's the phrase? –DPA, so we don't engage."

"PDA, Cas. It's PDA. Public Displays of Affection." Dean frowned. If only Cas knew how much he actually loved them.

"Why don't you like them, Dean?"

"How about you tell me what you asked the last four couples who went missing, so I know not to answer those questions?" Dean countered.

"Dean!" Cas turned to face him and winked the eye that the doctor couldn't see. "That's not something you should be asking!"

"He's right, you know. And I don't know what that has to do with why we're here now." Dr. Quinn added.

Dean crossed his arms and slouched back about the couch. "We've heard the rumors, and we only got here last night. Four couples went missing, and they were all last seen here. How convenient."

"While that is unfortunate, and yes, they did see me, I had nothing to do with their disappearances." Dr. Quinn tapped her finger against her lips. "Perhaps you can tell me why you're using the disappearances to avoid talking about your feelings?"

"He will use any excuse to not talk about his feelings." Cas looked at Dean, an emotion in his eyes that Dean couldn't quite place. "If you want to know how he's feeling, you're better off going to a psychic."

"Dude, Cas."

"So, there's a lot of emotional avoidance as well, Cas?" Dr. Quinn turned and focused on Cas, acting as though Dean weren't in the room.

"Definitely. Dean can't explain how he feels, or he won't. Not once in seven years have I heard..." Cas stopped himself. "Sorry. I can't go there."

"Go where?" Dr. Quinn looked back and forth between Dean and Cas, Dean shrugging at her. 

"Dean still doesn't fully accept himself." Cas looked at Dean.

Dr. Quinn nodded as though it all made sense. "Dean, where are your parents?"

"Excuse me?" It was Dean's turn to look back and forth.

"It's a simple question. Are you in contact with your parents?"

"No. They're both dead." Dean glared at her. "I don't understand what this has to do with anything."

"Who died first?" Dr. Quinn pushed forward.

Dean looked at Cas, confusion, and betrayal on his face. "My mom died when I was four. Dad died nine years ago."

"So, Dad raised you?"

"Stop right there." Dean pointed at her. "You going to tell me I have Daddy issues? Everyone who knows me knows that I have Daddy issues." He turned to face Cas. "You especially."

"I think you're afraid of being honest about your love for Cas because your father would disapprove." Dr. Quinn's voice drew Dean's attention back to her. "I think you're ashamed to admit you're bisexual, even though you're literally married to a man."

Cas cringed as Dean exploded on the poor doctor. "Excuse me? My father has never had any control over who I do or don't love." He stood up from his seat. "My father was never around. My father would abandon me and my brother for weeks at a time in shitty motel rooms and not enough cash for us to survive.

"So you know what I did? I did what no teenager should ever have to do to make sure there's food on the table for their kid brother. I've known for a long time that I'm bisexual. And I don't care. Did I flaunt in front of my father? No, cause I'm not stupid. But ashamed of that fact? Fuck no.

"What I'm ashamed of is that I love Cas, and I don't know how he can love me back. Because I'm not worthy. He knows the shit I've done. He knows the Hell I've been to, the Hell I've been through. I love him, and there's no way he can love me too."

Dean stormed out of the office, slamming the door shut behind him. He stumbled outside, finding the first bench he could and sitting down on it, his face falling to his hands. The words had spilled out of him in a rage, and he couldn't put them back.

"Room for one more?" A soft, sweet voice called from above Dean. He looked up and came face to face with a cute, petite blonde.

"There's a bench over there." Dean pointed in a random direction.

"Yeah, but this one has a heartbroken guy who looks like he needs a hug on it."

Dean shrugged. "Sit or don't sit. I don't care."

"It's normally polite to ask if someone wants company." She tucked her short hair behind her ear. "So, may I?"

"Yeah." Dean sniffed and rubbed at a tear that had fallen.

"Quinn or Martin?" The blonde asked.

"Quinn."

The blonde nodded. "Yeah, the doc can be pushy." She extended her hand. "I'm Rúnda."

"Nice to meet you." He shook her hand. 

"Would you like that hug?" Rúnda asked, a hopeful smile on her face.

"Nah, I'm good." Dean wiped at his face again. "You staff here?"

Rúnda nodded from side to side. "You can say that. I help out when I can. I try to be helpful where I can. Relationship issues, huh?"

"Kinda." Dean shrugged again and hung his head. "If I didn't have them before, I'll definitely have them now."

"What makes you so sure about that, Dean?" Rúnda asked.

Dean lifted his head slowly and looked at the blonde. He focused on her carefully, and slowly reached for the iron blade in his boot. "I don't recall telling you my name."

"Dammit." Rúnda cursed. "I always forget that." She smiled brightly and let the rest of her façade slip. "Let me guess, hunter?"

Dean forwent the blade in his boot and instead grabbed a sugar packet out of his pocket and ripped it open, spilling it in front of the pixie. "Where are they?"

"Dammit. A good hunter." Rúnda sat down and started counting the sugar crystals. "They're all safe. They're fine. They're in Avalon."

"Humans don't belong in Avalon. You know that." Dean sighed and pulled the iron blade out of his boot. "Bring them back."

"Busy!" Rúnda hummed playfully. "You know I can't stop."

Dean kept the blade pointed at her as she kept counting. "Why'd you take them?"

"They were hurting each other. With secrets. I can smell secrets a mile away. Yours is a big one. You're hurting yourself and your Cas with yours."

"So you took them to what? Make them share their secrets?" Dean knelt down.

"Yep! Once they share and there's no more pain, they can go home!" Rúnda looked up at Dean. "You know, you can tell me how many sugar crystals you spilled."

Dean ran his fingers through his hair and watched for a moment as the pixie kept counting the sugar crystals. "You. You can't do that. Secrets are healthy."

"Some secrets, yes. Presents. If that dress makes them look fat." The pixie frowned, an expression that looked entirely out of place on her delicate face. "But the kind of secrets, like yours? They hurt."

Dean ignored her and rolled his eyes. "What do I need to do to have you release the other couples?"

"Ooh, I can make deals. Rumpelstiltskin is a cousin. Taught me everything I know." Rúnda thought for a second. "First. Promise you nor Cas will kill me, and let me go back to Avalon in peace. Then, you tell me how many sugar crystals you dropped. Finally, you tell Cas the secret. We'll consider it proxy for all the other couple's secrets."

"First one is easy. I promise Cas nor I will kill you." Dean extended his hand again and let Rúnda shake it. "Second part, though. That one might be impossible. I ripped open a random packet. I have no idea how many are in there."

"Ah, that's the best part. You make up a number, it becomes fact."

"How do I know you won't run?" Dean crossed his arms over his chest again. 

Rúnda scratched the back of her head. "Well, besides the fact that we're in the middle of negotiation? If you want to switch two and three, there's Cas now." She pointed at the door, where a relieved Cas had spotted Dean.

"Fine, we switch two and three. I tell Cas what I think is my biggest secret and then I tell you the number of crystals. But then you let them go."

"I'm ok with that!" Rúnda smiled up at Dean as he stood up.

"Thank God," Cas smiled at Dean. "I was hoping you hadn't gone far." He looked down at Rúnda. "Who's this?"

"He can see you?" Dean asked.

"Yep! I'm letting him."

Dean ran his hand down his face. "This is our pixie, Rúnda. Rúnda, let me formally introduce you to Cas."

"Pleasure!" She continued counting the sugar crystals. "You can tell him at any time."

"First." Dean turned to Cas and held up his finger. "Under no circumstance can you kill her. That's part of the negotiation to get the couples back."

"Okay." Cas nodded.

"Second." Dean looked at Cas. He took a deep breath, looking at the pixie for a split second before looking at the angel in front of him. The angel that could never be his. "I know what I said in there, Cas. But I need to be honest. I can't love you."

Cas took a moment to process what Dean had said. The look on Cas' face reminded Dean of when he told him that he wasn't allowed to stay in the bunker after Cas had fallen. "I see." Cas looked down at the pixie, before walking away.

Dean watched as Cas' posture slumped, the strength and grace he walked with draining away.

"You're an idiot." Rúnda shook her head. "Like, you believe that and that's a damn shame, and it's a secret you've been keeping you tricky son of a bitch–"

"Hey!"

"–like, why do you think you can't love him?" Rúnda pulled at her hair. "He's obviously in love with you, and you're clearly in love with him." The pixie made a frustrated sound. "That was dirty."

"You agreed to the terms." Dean pointed out.

"Because I thought you were going to tell him that when you said you loved him, that you meant it!"

"Four hundred and one," Dean responded.

Rúnda looked at Dean, confusion written on her face.

"Sugar crystals. Four hundred and one." Dean sat back down on the bench. "I don't need you to tell me how much I suck. I already know."

"How often are you told you need therapy?" Rúnda glared at Dean.

"Apparently not enough."

"Take it from a creature of mischief. You need it." She snapped her fingers. "They're all back home with their families. You can have your hunter friends confirm."

Dean nodded. "Thank you, Rúnda."

"Don't thank me, dumbass. Go fix your problem. Cause it just got worse." She snapped her fingers again, disappearing from sight.

Dean didn't stick around. He ran back to the cabin and found it empty, only his duffel bag sitting on the bed where he had left it that morning. Cas was gone. He pulled his cell phone out of his pocket and started to dial Cas when he realized that Cas probably wouldn't answer. Dean finished packing his things back into the duffel and loaded it into the Impala. He pulled his phone back out and called the next best option. Sam.

After two rings, the line picked up. "What the hell did you do?"

"Hello to you too, Sam."

"No, I'm not playing games, Dean. I thought something happened to you. But no. That's not it at all, is it?" Dean didn't even have to close his eyes to imagine the bitchface his brother had going on. "What did you do?"

"Is Cas there?"

"Do you even have the right to ask that right now, Dean?" Sam spat, a venom Dean hadn't heard in years.

"I want to make sure he's safe. He's my priority before the couples."

A pregnant pause made Dean pull the phone back to make sure they hadn't been disconnected. "–e's here. Incredibly heartbroken, but he's here. Your ass better get back here as fast as humanly possible."

Dean heard the click of the phone and pulled it away from his ear. He hopped back into the passenger seat and started the drive back to Lebanon.

Several hours and two stops for gas later, Dean pulled into the Bunker's garage. Before he could even get his duffel out of the trunk, Sam was meeting him at the door. "What the hell happened, Dean? I mean, there are not enough words to explain what's going through my mind right now."

"It was a pixie. I made a deal." Dean slung his bag over his shoulder and started heading back to his room.

"Bullshit," Sam yelled at him. "I got Cas to talk, and I know what you said."

Dean nodded. "Yeah, that I can't love him." He stood in front of his door and looked over his shoulder at Sam. "That's the truth." Dean opened the door and walked in. He tried to close his door, but Sam shoved his foot in, keeping it from closing.

"Before that. When you two were in the actual therapy session." Sam used his size and weight to shove the door open. "You said that you love him. You admitted what I've known for years. You said what anyone with eyes has seen." Sam watched as Dean crossed to his bed and dropped his bag on it in resignation. "Why did you tell him you can't love him?"

"The pixie said I had to tell my biggest secret, Sam." Dean sat on the edge of the bed.

"So, what, you don't love Cas?" Sam ran his hand through his hair. "I think I just pointed out that's not the case."

"Sam, it's no secret that I love Cas. That's why I couldn't use it as my secret. I've never hidden my feelings for him. I just may not have been completely open about them." Dean looked at Sam. "I had literally just yelled out that I didn't care who knew that I love him. It's not a secret at that point."

Sam's jaw dropped. "But you said..."

"I said I can't love him." Dean ran his hand down his face. "My secret is that I fight to not love him."

"Why!?" Sam's face twisted in confusion. "You can have the one thing that we both crave. And don't tell me you don't want it."

"The list is endless, Sam." Dean starts ticking on his fingers. "He's an Angel of the Lord, I'm not supposed to fall in love with my best friend, He doesn't love me back, my love for him can be used against me."

Sam shook his head. "Nope." He grabbed Dean under the arm. "I'm not putting up with this."

"What the hell, Sam?" Dean found himself being pulled to his feet and dragged out of his room. "Stop!"

"No!" Sam dragged Dean down to Cas' room, where he kicked on the door. "Cas, open up!"

"The fuck, Sam?" Dean tried to get out of Sam's grasp before Cas could open the door. "Let me go!"

Cas' door opened slowly. "What, Sam?"

Sam shoved open the door with his shoulder and flung Dean into the room, throwing both angel and hunter for a loop. He scrambled to beat them to the door and slammed it shut behind him. Once closed, Sam drew a pattern on the door, causing it to glow gold briefly. "Oh, thank God."

The door shook violently, but neither Dean nor Cas could open it. "What the hell did you do, Sam?" Dean shouted, banging on the door.

"I did some reading about the bunker while you two were on your trip. It's a little trick that'll come in handy." Sam playfully slapped the door. "I'll come back and check on you two later. Like, much later."

In the room, Cas crossed over to his bed and sat down. He picked up the crossword puzzle that he had been working on, choosing to ignore Dean.

Dean, left with nothing to do, sat in a chair in the corner of the room. He kicked his feet up on the other one and leaned back, trying to get comfortable. Dean pushed and pulled the chair with his feet, trying to find the best place for it to rest.

"Would you stop?" Cas spoke, causing Dean to look up. He picked up a book and threw it at Dean. "It's one of yours anyway."

Dean flipped it over, despite not needing to, knowing it was _On the Road._ "Did you finish it?"

"Several times." Cas turned back to his crossword. "There's a lot of time when one chooses not to sleep."

"Did you li–"

"That was not an invitation for conversation, Dean." Cas wrote down an answer and scratched out the question.

Dean hung his head. "I'm sorry." 

"Okay." Cas wrote in another answer, crossing out the clue.

"No, Cas." Dean stood up and crossed over to the bed, setting the book on the nightstand. "I'm sorry. For what I said."

Tears welled up in Cas' eyes. "Don't be sorry for how you feel, Dean."

"I'll never be sorry for loving you, Cas." Dean sat on the bed at Cas' feet.

Cas dropped the paper, shaking his head. "You told the pixie–"

Dean held up his finger. "First, what did I say in front of the doctor? Then what did I say in front of the pixie?"

"You said that you love me in front of the doctor and that you were ashamed of the fact that I love you."

"More like, ashamed of who I am, not that you love me." Dean paused. "You do, right? Love me?" A tinge of hope colored Dean's tone.

Cas nodded. "But then you told the pixie you don't love me."

"I didn't tell the pixie anything." Dean took a chance and rested his hand on Cas' leg. "I told you that my biggest secret is that I can't love you. Because I feel like I'm not allowed to."

"Who said you can't?" Cas tilted his head in confusion.

"No one actually said I can't. I've always felt like it's wrong. You're a freaking Angel. I'm a high school dropout who's caused the apocalypse, hunts monsters, took on the Mark of Cain, became a demon, and unleashed some crazy bitch who's the literal darkness."

"I've done my share of wrongs, Dean." Cas sat up and crossed his legs to be closer to Dean. "But not once have I ever thought that I didn't deserve you." Cas started to reach to touch Dean's cheek but pulled back. "You have always been my beacon. My Righteous Man."

A sob escaped Dean's lips. "You've always been my Angel. There is no one but you, Cas." Dean hung his head. "I mean it when I say I don't feel worthy."

"Dean." Cas cupped Dean's cheek and wiped away a stray tear with his thumb. "You don't decide if you are worthy of someone's love." Cas leaned forward and captured Dean's mouth with his own. The kiss was brief and sweet, but still enough to take their breaths away. "My love is yours, and yours alone, Dean."

Dean crashed his lips into Cas' again, claiming the angel as he had at the campground. He climbed into Cas' lap, the need for closeness rushing through his veins.

Cas ran his hands up the front of Dean's chest and under Dean's flannel, pushing it off of his shoulders and tossing it to the floor. He pulled up on the hem of Dean's tee shirt, and with Dean's help, he pulled it up and over his hunter's head. Cas traced his fingers over Dean's skin, taking the moments to relearn the freckles and the scars that marked the beautiful body in his lap. "What do you want, Dean?"

Dean leaned forward and kissed Cas briefly before kissing along his jaw. He moved down Cas' neck, nibbling on it before he came to the tee shirt Cas was wearing. "Is this the one I leant you?"

Cas nodded. "I didn't dream of this happening. So I thought I would..." Cas closed his eyes and trailed off as Dean started to suck a spot onto his neck.

"Keep it. Knowing you're in my clothes?" Dean whispered against Cas' skin. "It means you're mine."

"Mhmm." Cas' hands found their way to Dean's back and started kneading into the skin and muscles, causing Dean to melt against Cas.

"Fuck, Cas." Dean pulled back and started pulling Cas' shirt off.

A warm chuckle left Cas' throat. "I believe if we keep this up, that's where we're heading." He lifted his arms up, letting Dean finish taking his shirt off before his hands found Dean's hips. Cas squeezed them and pulled Dean down on to him. "Is that what you want, Dean?"

"Yes." Dean's eyes were half-lidded as he found Cas' mouth again, his tongue pleading with Cas' lips for entrance. Cas' lips parted, and Dean slid in, and a dance for dominance between their tongues commenced, eliciting whimpers and soft moans from both men.

Cas reluctantly pulled back and let go of Dean's hips, tracing his fingers along the top of Dean's jeans. He stopped, looking at Dean for final confirmation before moving to undo his pants.

Dean carded his fingers through Cas' hair, resting them at the back of his angel's neck. He nodded before resting his forehead against Cas'. "Please."

"Of course, Dean." Cas softly kissed Dean while undoing the button and zipper of his jeans, slowly, so painfully slow for Dean.

"Cas, play fair."

"I don't know what fair is for you, yet." Cas dragged his tongue along Dean's jaw before starting his own mark on Dean's neck.

Dean mewled, pushing himself up on Cas shoulders, so Cas could pull down Dean's jeans and underwear over his hips. Cas was able to get them to below Dean's knees, and Dean finished kicking them off the rest of the way. "Now you're overdressed, Angel," Dean complained cheekily.

Cas raised his eyebrow, and in one swift movement rolled over the pair over so Dean was pinned under him. "It's a little difficult to get undressed when you have a gorgeous man sitting in your lap."

Dean turned bright red, the blush extending down his body.

Cas pushed himself up to his knees and undid his belt and pants, smoothly sliding them off in one fluid movement. "What do you want, Dean?" Cas leaned back down and languidly started kissing his way up along Dean's chest.

"You is too general an answer, I assume?" 

Cas playfully bit Dean in response.

"Come here, Cas.”

Cas tilted his head in confusion.

"Do you have lube in here?" Dean asked point-blank.

"Ah." Cas leaned down and whispered into Dean's ear. "Tell me what you want, and I'll show you the perks of having an angel for a boyfriend."

Dean groaned as the rest of the blood in his body shot to his cock. "Cas, not to kill this, but last I checked, you don't–"

"Dean. Shush." Cas wrapped his hand around Dean's cock and started stroking. "What do you want?"

Dean's fingers dug into the blanket under him. "Fuck. You. Inside me. Please." Dean's head fell back on the pillow. He felt Cas climb between his legs and slide a finger inside of him effortlessly. A moan escaped Dean's lips as Cas slipped another finger inside of him, a familiar warm spreading through him as Cas took care of him.

"Still concerned?"

Dean lifted his head and shook it, his eyes meeting Cas'. "No, Angel. I'm yours."

"Good." Cas lined himself up with Dean and slowly pushed in, watching as Dean writhed under him. Dean's fingers found Cas' arms and grabbed them, clinging to Cas as he slid in completely, two puzzle pieces coming together.

"Cas. Cas. Cas." Dean cried beneath him, a prayer of pleasure as Dean tried to make Cas move. "Please, Cas. Have you, need you." Dean pleaded, a sweet, broken litany.

Cas started moving, his hips gyrating and thrusting as he wrapped his hand back around Dean's cock. Each movement of his wrist synchronized with each movement of his hips. The swings and sways built up in tempo, matching the crescendo of the pleas and cries escaping from the lovers' lips.

Dean found his climax first, Cas' ministrations pushing him to edge quickly and thoroughly. Thick white ropes spilled over Cas' hand and painted their stomachs and chests. Several movements more, and Cas found his own, his head rolling back as his tongue slipped into his native language.

Cas fell forward, catching himself over Dean, and smiling down at him. "Ol hoath."

Dean pulled Cas down the rest of the way and kissed him softly. "I'm a little rusty on my Enochian, there Cas, but I think you just called me your beloved."

"Yes." Cas cocked his eyebrow. "I assume you'll explain to me how you know that another time."

"No major story," Dean smirked and closed his eyes, waiting as Cas rolled next to him on the bed. "I was trying to figure out how to tell you that I love you. I'm pretty sure that's when Sam figured it out, cause I don't study willingly." He turned to look at Cas. "It's not something I'm going to say a lot, though I'll try for you." Dean brushed Cas' cheek. "I love you, Castiel."

Cas ran his hand down Dean's side then down his own, cleaning up their mess. "I love you, Dean." He leaned in and stole a quick kiss before pulling the blanket out from under them and covering them up. "Rest."

"You won't leave?" Dean questioned, concern in his voice.

"Nothing can pull me away from you. Not now that I am yours." Cas held Dean closely.

xxx

A few hours later, Sam came back and undid the warding on the door. He listened for a moment, making sure there were no uncouth sounds, as no one wants to hear their best friend and brother having sex.

Once he was sure there was quiet, he knocked quietly. There was no response, odd, as Cas should at least say something. 

He knocked a little louder. 

Neither Dean nor Cas responded.

Against his better judgment, Sam tested the doorknob and found it unlocked. He turned it slowly and pushed the door open as softly as possible.

In the dim light, he could make out the forms of Dean and Cas, curled up together asleep.

Sam smiled in surprise and pulled the door shut.

"About damn time."

**Author's Note:**

> Are you into Destiel? Do you use Discord? Are you over the age of 18? Looking for a cool group of people to hang out with? Come join the writers, artists, and other amazing Destiel fans on the [Profound Bond Discord Server](https://discord.gg/profoundbond).


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